The reason why it has become a struggle is because of the drive. In the almost 6 years that Sal and I have been dating, Sal is more likely than not always the driver. If I can, I choose not to drive. I'm not sure why, or when this started, but I don't like being the driver in the car for more than a 5 minute drive. Is it just me, or do you wish you could blink and arrive at any given destination that you please? What's even more strange is that I absolutely love traveling, and exploring new places, as long as I'm not the one in the driver's seat. This drive to work isn't just down the street... it's about a fifty minute drive, which qualifies as long in my book, especially with my gas guzzler of a SUV. Fifty minutes is a long time to sit there thinking, and singing the same ten songs on country radio (NASH FM, please play a better variety). So by the end of the day, when I finally pull up to my house, I worked an eight and half hour shift, and drove two hours. It's no wonder that I have no energy to go out with friends.
Of course there are mornings when the sun is shining so brightly, there isn't any traffic on the road, and the ride seems to go faster than normal. Then there are the mornings when I sit in traffic, and wind up being late to work... these are the mornings that I watch the clouds fly by, the sun rise slowly into the sky, and I realize I'm luckier than most. Instead of complaining about my drive, I try to look at the positive things in my life, no matter how small those positives are. I begin letting my wind wander to the day I will have once I arrive at the hospital - hopefully better than the last. It's easy to sit there and beep at drivers that should probably go back and retake their driving test, to raise your blood pressure, and be angry at the world, but sometimes these things are uncontrollable. I always focus on my breathing, and breath as deeply as I can during my ride. Yoga has taught me this, and I'm so grateful that I have been able to bring this to all aspects of my life.
Life is beautiful, despite days that are filled with struggles.