Monday, February 3, 2014

Breakdown after Breakdown

It's not unusual for me to breakdown, when the stress or anxiety becomes too much, it's almost always likely to spill over. These breakdowns occurred more often in college, as the homework piled up and the course load wore me down. At that time in my life I had to complete assignments, tests, and papers, while working a part time job, volunteering, and eventually interning. Breakdowns were bound to happen. However, now I don't have school, though I'm thinking about going back, but I do work a 40 hour full time job, traveling to and from work for 10 hours total a week as well. In some ways, my job as a Child Life Specialist requires me to be a sponge, soaking up all of the pain and suffering of every potent that I come in contact with. My personality enables me to get through this each and every day, but it might've piled up subconsciously, without my notice. When I have days off from work, I am able to dissociate from work, and enjoy my days off, especially when I'm traveling, going off on another adventure. Lately though, with all this snow, I haven't been able to go anywhere, and my "weekends" off have been spent inside. Sure I get away to the gym, or to dinner with Sal, but for the most part I feel as if I'm stuck inside. Everyone seems to be busy with their lives while I'm off. I mean, Tuesdays and Wednesdays are no ones ideal days off, especially when all of your friends work a Monday- Friday job.

Thankfully, Sal has more often than not, been there for me during these breakdowns. We sit down, and through tears (mostly mine, okay all mine), we figure out my thoughts, and how to work through it. In the past, it's been easy, take it one assignment at a time, Sal will help by reading a paper or aiding in my studies, but now I'm an adult, and adult with a real job in the real world. It's been that way for almost a year now, so it doesn't come as a shock to hear it. This time it was more difficult to fix, of course. We figured out an easier solution, after he calmed me and I was able to see reason. I would make a to-do list of all the things I've been wanting to accomplish, including some of the goals on my 2014 resolution list. It would be things I could do on my own, instead of relying on others. I would take each day as it came, and if I had to lay in bed for the day due to snow, I would, without complaint. This winter has taught me that some things happen, and you can't control it, so you have to take what it is and make the best of it.

It helps when someone is there to support you during these times, but it's also important to boost yourself back up as well. Remember the little things in life that make the day that much better... a good workout at the gym, a hot cup of tea, a good book, a new DIY project or recipe you want to test out. It doesn't have to be something huge or luxurious, only something that makes you brings about those feelings of happiness, even if it's just a small smile at the end of the day. It's important to take days and make them yours, regardless of the weather. It's something I'm still learning, but I'm slowly getting the hang of it. 

1 comment:

  1. Love this post!! I can relate so much to this right now! Hope everything is going well!!